Great episode Denise! I only wish I had known you earlier in my career!
I was iced out in the last job I left.
I had been in my boss’s (very small and very powerful) inner circle and he quickly iced me after I said I was quitting. It was crazy how quick it was and I was hurt for a moment before taking this was his MO and was just another example of why it was the right decision to leave.
Thank you for addressing this topic in your first episode. After seven years as an independent contractor with the same PR agency, my annual contract wasn’t renewed. It’s clear my speaking up about unethical and hypocritical practices led to my getting iced out. Instead of having a direct conversation about our working relationship the owner decided to put comfort first and told my client I was being moved to another account while simultaneously informing me the client asked for a change. Both untrue. I probably “burned the bridge” when I spoke up, but as you so beautifully state - it was essential for my mental health.
I'm really sorry that happened. We humans tend to make things worse when we shirk our responsibility to be candid. And then, as you note, it makes the person on the receiving end doubt the validity of an accusation/assertion -- for good reason. As I always say, some bridges were meant to be burned, no matter how much it hurts and/or scares us. Those bridges lead to nowhere.
This resonates with me! I used to ice people out before I started therapy. I was very feisty in my 20’s. As I’m maturing in my 30’s (still growing), I’m becoming more and more self aware, I don’t think we need to ice people out. Like… we’re grown and should just speak our minds and respect others’ opinions, choices, etc. Why try to make people bend to our will by icing them out. I prefer peace now and I’m too unbothered to waste that energy.
I currently experience the silent treatment manipulation in my personal life from my son’s dad, but now that I’ve been doing the work in therapy, I see it for what it is and embrace the silence from him as peace rather than feeling like I have to jump through hoops to appease him. So when I send him correspondence and don’t get a reply, I’m like great, this is better than the usual ignorant replies. Maturity is so freeing!
I loved Ep1 and look forward to the other episodes!
So glad this episode hit with you! Isn't it liberating through therapy or whatever means...when we can't be manipulated? Ahhhh....that fresh air called maturity.
Great episode Denise! I only wish I had known you earlier in my career!
I was iced out in the last job I left.
I had been in my boss’s (very small and very powerful) inner circle and he quickly iced me after I said I was quitting. It was crazy how quick it was and I was hurt for a moment before taking this was his MO and was just another example of why it was the right decision to leave.
Icing is sooooo abusive and harmful.
So abusive!
When I was young in my career I would have never thought that the “childish” tactic of the silent treatment would be used in the workplace…
When is Ep2 dropping?!
Next week!!
Thank you for addressing this topic in your first episode. After seven years as an independent contractor with the same PR agency, my annual contract wasn’t renewed. It’s clear my speaking up about unethical and hypocritical practices led to my getting iced out. Instead of having a direct conversation about our working relationship the owner decided to put comfort first and told my client I was being moved to another account while simultaneously informing me the client asked for a change. Both untrue. I probably “burned the bridge” when I spoke up, but as you so beautifully state - it was essential for my mental health.
I'm really sorry that happened. We humans tend to make things worse when we shirk our responsibility to be candid. And then, as you note, it makes the person on the receiving end doubt the validity of an accusation/assertion -- for good reason. As I always say, some bridges were meant to be burned, no matter how much it hurts and/or scares us. Those bridges lead to nowhere.
This resonates with me! I used to ice people out before I started therapy. I was very feisty in my 20’s. As I’m maturing in my 30’s (still growing), I’m becoming more and more self aware, I don’t think we need to ice people out. Like… we’re grown and should just speak our minds and respect others’ opinions, choices, etc. Why try to make people bend to our will by icing them out. I prefer peace now and I’m too unbothered to waste that energy.
I currently experience the silent treatment manipulation in my personal life from my son’s dad, but now that I’ve been doing the work in therapy, I see it for what it is and embrace the silence from him as peace rather than feeling like I have to jump through hoops to appease him. So when I send him correspondence and don’t get a reply, I’m like great, this is better than the usual ignorant replies. Maturity is so freeing!
I loved Ep1 and look forward to the other episodes!
So glad this episode hit with you! Isn't it liberating through therapy or whatever means...when we can't be manipulated? Ahhhh....that fresh air called maturity.